So, I have to tell you something. And it’s pretty disappointing. You might want to grab a drink and sit down for this. Are you ready? Ok, here it goes….
I can’t get caned…
I know. It hit me hard too. I mean living in Singapore just doesn’t feel nearly exciting now that I know that nothing I do will EVER result in a caning. I can walk the streets drunk, naked, chewing gum and smoking a joint and it will never result in corporal punishment. Death penalty, maybe. But, that’s just so boring.
I blame the British – for two reasons. First, according to Wikipedia they are the ones who started this whole caning tradition when they were running this island and they left out my entire gender. Sexist bastards. Second, the one who broke this devastating news to me was Alan, a guy from London who I met up with last night for a few drinks. If you ask me, telling the girl who owns the url thedailycaning.com that she can’t get caned warrants a few lashes. The only thing saving this guy in my book was his incredible love for Wendy’s.
In other disappointing news, the boxes that I mailed to myself are being held up by customs and may be shipped back to Illinois (on my dime) today if I can’t get it sorted out. Apparently, it’s all because of a digital blood pressure wrist monitor that my Mom bought for me. THANKS A LOT MOM! I’ve made about 6 phone calls to FedEx and had a very lengthy email exchange with someone from the HSA (Health Science Authority) and I think this $20 “life-saving” device should be cleared soon. Ironically, this whole ordeal has probably raised my blood pressure. But, I guess we’ll never know.
I don’t have many pictures for you this time. I took this one on my walk back to the train last night. It was a beautiful night – perfect for meeting new people in a new country.
And when I got on the train I saw a bunch of these guys. But, they don’t intimidate me at all now that I know that the only thing they have the power to do to me is possibly kill me.
If you guys don’t mind, I’m going to keep the url thedailycaning.com despite this devastating news. I paid 18 dollars for it…
thedaily caning 
Now that you know you can walk around drunk, naked, chewing gum and smoking a joint, make sure you blog about it afterward! Sounds like a good social experiment. 🙂 You are so brave, getting out and making friends and riding trains. I am proud of you! And sorry about your boxes…
I read the very same article on caning and felt your disappointment. Just to make you feel better, and to give you a reason to come home, I am buying a 4 foot piece of cane 1/2 in in diameter. When you come home your mother and I will take turns caning you!
Hope you get your stuff through customs. Keep the reports coming- love reading and seeing the pictures.
Love ya
Dad
It relieves me that you can’t get caned. I also hope you get your stuff through customs. Love the pictures.
You were born to blog snarky girl! You’re doing a brave thing and I’m so proud of you.
Fantastic Kelly, enjoying you humor and perspective immensely!
I’m wondering if this obsession with caning has anything to do with getting spanked in school? I figure that you were too wily to get caught doing anything spank worthy….but at the same time one never knows. FYI….there’s a football game tonight at NCHS. I think that is the most exciting thing happening in Jasper County. Nothing comparable to being in Singapore. Enjoy!
I’ve been stalking, ahem, I mean following your adventures in Singapore 🙂 Sorry for your bad news, but very glad that you can’t get caned…love the blog name too! Good luck with the rest of your adventures and can’t wait to read about them!
how did i miss this post! this is the saddest thing i’ve ever heard. i will have a moment of silence for your hindquarters and the cane they will never meet. 😦
perhaps if there is a baskin robbins, there is also a walgreens with one of those blood pressure machines??? how disappointing about the caning. i was hoping that you would have a pic of that on here one day. *big sigh of disappointment*